What does it mean to “take your life to the next level”?
Dr. Liz had the pleasure of being on Raf Garay’s podcast, and on this episode of Calm, Cool and Connected he is returning the favor.
Key Takeaways from Liz's chat with Raf:
• Hear about Raf’s background and story
• Learn what Raf means when he says he’s “working on his mind”
• Find out why procrastination happens
• Discover tools to battle procrastination
• Hear how learning how to frame experiences is a useful tool in life
All of this and more, on this episode of Calm, Cool and Connected.
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DISCLAIMER: THE CONSULTATIONS OR INTERACTIONS OFFERED ARE NOT MENTAL HEALTH THERAPY. THE CONSULTATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT STRUCTURED IN A WAY TO PROVIDE MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING/PSYCHOTHERAPY/THERAPY/ DIAGNOSING OF ANY KIND. YOU UNDERSTAND THAT CALM COOL AND CONNECTED IS NOT PROVIDING INFORMATION AS YOUR TREATING MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR, PHYSICIAN, ATTORNEY, LEGAL COUNSEL, EMPLOYER, MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. We offer no guarantees or promise of results from event nor assume liability for any information provided.
[00:00:00] Now more than ever. We have an opportunity to be a positive force in the world to help heal the divide, to treat each other and ourselves with respect. Well, there's so many tools out there from meditation to physical training, proper nutrition therapy, and so many others. We all need a little help navigating all the options.
Join us as we share in-depth information, insights and thought provoking discussions that will help answer your questions about how to stay calm, cool, and connected. During these times. Welcome to calm, cooling, connected your guidebook to peace of mind.
Hello and welcome to calm. Colin connected. I'm your host, Dr.
Elizabeth. What does it mean to take your life to the next level? This is such a subjective concept and looks so uniquely different for each individual. I have the honor of being interviewed on our next guest podcast, the art of inspiration, and he asked me how I would define success. And I said, for me, success is pushing personal growth to somewhere I've never been.
And then taking it one step further. And today Raphael [00:01:00] gray, a business coach and entrepreneur. It's here to share with us about his definition of success and his ideas on how to get there. Hi, welcome to our show.
Raf: Such a pleasure to be here.
Dr. Liz: Oh, it's so nice to have you. It was so great. Chatting with you on your podcast and such an honor to have you here today.
Tell us a little bit about yourself and the work that you're currently doing as a business coach.
Raf: So right now I actually stepped away recently from my solo preneurs ship as a business coach. And I'm not one of the head creatives creating business coaching programs for the masses working with Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi.
So that's, that's where I'm currently at
Dr. Liz: right now. That's huge. That is taking it to the next level. Indeed. you have a really inspirational story of how you got to where you are today. Can you share with us briefly about your background and your journey to present day success?
Raf: Absolutely. You know, it's [00:02:00] it's unfortunate for me to say I started my journey while Ms.
17 or 18 years ago incarcerated. So spent, you know, some, some time behind bars, unfortunately, and decided to climb out of that. I spent I spent some time actually as a massage there. I transitioned from massage therapy to a career in corporate advertising, big change, and from corporate advertising, somewhere in the middle, I found my passion for helping other people, and I wanted to become a coach launched a business very unsuccessfully for two years.
And then finally found my groove was able to walk away from my corporate career, build a really substantial business. And that took me to where I am today, working with some really, really phenomenal entrepreneurs.
Dr. Liz: Yeah. I mean, that's just amazing and so amazing. Such a mindset shift that had to take place to go from that lifestyle to where you are today.
How would you describe [00:03:00] the concept of taking it to the next level? What does that mean to you?
Raf: From for me taking it to the next level is about competing with the person in the mirror every single day. I try to get better. And for me, it's, it's, it's actively working on my, my mind, my focus, my spirituality, my physical health, and then sharpening my business chops.
And that's something that I'm very adamant when I say I'm working on my mind. I truly mean I'm doing mental exercises every day. Doing physical exercises everyday. Studying the craft, but business every day and not just consuming that information, making sure that I'm taking massive action forward with everything that.
Dr. Liz: Yeah, and that, I mean, that's awesome. We know knowledge in and of itself is not power, but the application of that knowledge is really where we see outcomes and see the difference. What are some of the barriers that you see your clients come up against? So when you're helping [00:04:00]people take it to the next level, mentally, physically, emotionally what are some of the barriers that you see them come up against?
Raf: The biggest barrier is always. I always say, as a coach giving someone information is easy. I, I know marketing, I know sales. I know how to build a business. That's the easy part. It is showing someone the reflection in the mirror that I see. And if I can show someone their greatness. Then it becomes really easy, but what gets in people's way is their own fear, their own doubts and their own limiting beliefs and their procrastination.
And that is what I've seen to be the killer of dreams.
Dr. Liz: And we see that the procrastination often comes from that desire for perfection or not feeling good enough. And so if I, if I can't do it perfectly, I'm not going to do it at all. How do you help your clients to overcome that? So like, let's talk about the procrastination piece [00:05:00] specifically.
What are some tools that you give around
Raf: that. So it's, I have filters in place for for anything that I give my clients to do. There's a filter in place that we utilize and we call, I call it harnessing the power of done, because people seem to think that when they have a task, that task becomes a really big mountain and it could be something as simple as filming a video and they want that video to look like the next motion.
And, you know, as a coach and a consultant, we're not hiring actors and actresses, we're looking to give knowledge to other people. So giving them a checklist of what is acceptable work actually look like, you know, were you clear and concise? Cause people see you on the video. Was your audio clear? Did you deliver the message that you want it to deliver?
Okay. Boom done. We need to move on. So allowing them to step over perfectionism and be okay with kind of taking that messy, bold action.
Dr. Liz: Yeah, [00:06:00] and they really can't get more comfortable doing it until they start doing it. And I mean, humans are designed for adaptation, right? So when there's something that is uncomfortable to us, the only way to make it more comfortable is by doing it.
Raf: Absolutely. I, and I always tell people if you're afraid of the water, you're not going to gain courage by standing on the diving board. Courage happens when you dive in and face your fears.
Dr. Liz: Absolutely. So tell us what motto do you live by day in and day out? What are some of the things that you mantras that you remind yourself of to keep yourself moving forward?
Raf: I remind myself of the power of change and that we are, we are always the catalyst in our life for everything, no matter where you are in your life there, there's always going to be some things that are out of our control. But how we view things or the lens that we look at life through, how we interpret what's happening to us.
And the questions that we ask [00:07:00] ourself about the events in our life that will determine our state. And so I always, whenever things are going wrong, I always ask myself, you know, how can I use this to make me better? So being able to just frame even a negative experience always keeps me positive. And the mantra that I always live by.
Simply persistence. If I have a definite goal, I need to learn all the skills that I, that I need to get to that goal. And I need to take bold action and I need to be numb to failure. I need to understand that failure is part of the process and I demand out of myself the best every single day. And I don't give a hundred percent mind body business spirituality.
That's a fail for me. I actually have a calendar. And I, I put a it's a big calendar in my office. Huge. I can see it every day and I put a big green check when I've marked all my pillars off. And when I don't mark them off, I put a red X and I don't [00:08:00] like to see a red X on there. So I make sure every day that I approach life.
I know that if I need to change the situation that changes in my hands and I always have the power, no matter where I'm at to change the trajectory of my.
Dr. Liz: Absolutely. And what do you do with that red X? So when you see that red X up on the wall, how do you use that to get the green check the next day?
Raf: It just fuels me.
I always, you know, for me it, and it's, it's, I guess it's kind of stoic. But I just remind myself that my time here is finite and I've, I have wasted Liz so much time, literally. And I could have been, you know, in school, I was one of the smartest people, books wise grow, you know, going up in high school could have went to a good school, could have had a great career.
I ended up completely trained, wrecking my life. And so me, I always think about what if it was my last day and if it was my last day, would I be having. With [00:09:00] how I lived that day. And if the end, if I have that red check, the answer is no. And that does not sit well with me. And that is my catalyst at the end of my life, when people show up and you know, they're, they're talking around my, you know, my, my funeral.
I want them to say that he lived his life and he left every single thing he had on the plane.
Dr. Liz: Absolutely. That's so powerful. And so just, I mean, knowing your background and knowing that you're really coming from a place of experience makes it that much more powerful. Where can our viewers find more about you, your website, social media?
How can they get in contact?
Raf: Best place to find me, but you can go to my website, Raphael gray.com, but really the best place is on Instagram. I'm on Facebook sort of, but not really, but Instagram, my main platform. You'll see me doing stories. You can shoot me at the end. You can ask me questions and just hang out for some really good.
Dr. Liz: Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you joining
Raf: us. This is a [00:10:00] pleasure, Liz. Thank you so much for having me in wishing you an amazing rest of your day. And for everyone else out there, keep going. I'll see you guys at the top.
Dr. Liz: Absolutely. Thank you so much. And thank you all for tuning into this episode of calm, cooling, connected.
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