It’s pretty commonly known that one of our barriers to success, is our own mindset! Less commonly known, is how to change that mindset.
Joining us on this episode of Calm, Cool and Connected is Marquita Myrick, a Licensed Professional Counselor and Empowerment Coach. She is going to school us on how to have a growth mindset.
Key Takeaways from Dr. Fedrick’s 1-on-1 with Marquita:
• Hear more about Marquita’s background and her work in the field
• Learn what exactly mindset is
• Find out the major differences between a limiting mindset and a growth mindset
• Hear what an Empowerment Coach works to shift in a person’s mindset
• Learn how other people’s beliefs about you can become your own
All of this and more, on this episode of Calm, Cool and Connected.
For more great Calm, Cool and Connected content, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Overcast, Spotify, and all the popular podcasting platforms. (RSS) https://3cstvshow.buzzsprout.com
Already subscribed? Please take a moment to rate and review the podcast so that we can reach as many people that need the help as we can: https://3cstvshow.buzzsprout.com
DISCLAIMER: THE CONSULTATIONS OR INTERACTIONS OFFERED ARE NOT MENTAL HEALTH THERAPY. THE CONSULTATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT STRUCTURED IN A WAY TO PROVIDE MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING/PSYCHOTHERAPY/THERAPY/ DIAGNOSING OF ANY KIND. YOU UNDERSTAND THAT CALM COOL AND CONNECTED IS NOT PROVIDING INFORMATION AS YOUR TREATING MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR, PHYSICIAN, ATTORNEY, LEGAL COUNSEL, EMPLOYER, MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. We offer no guarantees or promise of results from event nor assume liability for any information provided.
Dr. Fedrick: Hello, and welcome to calm. Cool and connected. I'm your host, Dr.
Elizabeth Bedrick. It's pretty commonly known that one of the biggest factors that truly influences our success, our ability to do hard things. Our grit is really our mindset and how we perceive these challenges that we're facing. What is less commonly known as how to change our mindset. If it's not working in our favor, or if it's holding us back.
Here today is Markita [00:01:00] Myrick. She's a licensed professional counselor and an empowerment coach murkiness here to talk to us about the benefits of a growth mindset and how we can work to change our mindset. If it's creating a barrier to our personal or professional. So, hi. Markita welcome.
Marquita Myrick: Hello. Thank you so much for having me, Liz.
Dr. Fedrick: you so much for joining us. I'm happy to have you here. So before we jump in, let's talk a little bit about your, your background. Tell us a little bit about yourself and the work that you're doing in the.
Marquita Myrick: Absolutely. So I am a licensed professional counselor and I'm also an empowerment coach. I tend to work with people, struggling with anxiety, depression, women's issues, any kind of life transition.
And I love empowering women specifically. I work with, with everyone, right. But I empower mostly women in my coaching practice really to just step into their power and live the life that they deserve to be living and stop just surviving and really just start thriving in.
Dr. Fedrick: I love that. I love that empowerment piece.
Yeah. It's going, can be such a game [00:02:00] changer to get someone to that next level to overcome something for success. So I love that approach. Tell us about mindset. Like why is it important? What is it? Tell us a little
Marquita Myrick: bit about that. Yeah, mine too. I love, I love talking about mindset work. It's it's really just like.
What, what, what are your beliefs? Right? A lot of people say youth mindset and limiting beliefs interchangeably. I, I think that our mindset is our core belief about, about different things and how we approach our thought process. So mindset work is really it's developed. When you think about mindset it's developed in our childhood, right?
The experiences we've had, they're downloaded into our memory and we tend to start believing certain things about life. Based on our experiences. And so developing a positive mindset is really important for
Dr. Fedrick: absolutely. And unfortunately we know it's a whole lot less common for that positive mindset or that growth mindset to just [00:03:00] happen naturally or often you and I both are working with clients with the limiting beliefs or they've had these life experiences that have created maybe more of that.
Fixed mindset. So what is the difference in the work that, that you've been doing that you recognize between somebody who develops a growth mindset and somebody who is maybe working with more of a.
Marquita Myrick: Yeah, it's, it's definitely very clear either in my therapy or coaching practice when someone has one or the other.
So someone with a growth mindset is more likely to look at failures, not as setbacks, but as an opportunity for growth. They, they see the clear picture. They don't look at anything negative that happens as like, this is who I am. They can really separate it and say, this is an experience I've had with this doesn't mean that this is who I am at my core, and I can learn and grow from.
Someone with a growth mindset would also accept challenges and say, you know what? I want to embrace this challenge because I want to grow and I want [00:04:00] to learn. And nothing, nothing I'm limited with nothing in life versus a fixed mindset person would say, yeah, I'm not really capable of doing that. I don't think I can never learn that new skill and growth is not really in my future.
You hear a lot of more negative terminology when someone has a fixed.
Dr. Fedrick: Sure. Are there common life experiences that you have recognized with your clients that lead to that fixed mindset?
Marquita Myrick: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I would say people with people who experienced any type of childhood trauma or are susceptible to having the more fixed poor mindset, if someone who was really praised during childhood encouraged to do hard things, really I'm told, like you're doing it.
Like the teaching mindset at. And I love it because she comes home and says, mommy, I don't have this math problem yet, but I'll get it right. That's why these things are so important. It's so important to start your children off in mindset, mindset work when they're young, because when they get older, maybe they're in college and they're like, oh, calculus is hard.
And I don't understand it [00:05:00] yet, but I'm going to go see my professor after class versus. Forget it, I need to drop out, you know, so it's, it's really those traumatic experiences. Someone who didn't have a good emotional attachment with their caregivers growing up and people who have maybe grown into adulthood and had some experiences that added to the negative experiences from childhood, and didn't have an opportunity for positive growth in their life.
Dr. Fedrick: And so what is the, what would be like the equivalent of when you're working with your clients? So that math problem and your daughter is saying, I don't get it yet, but I will. What is something that's comparable to that with the clients that you work with as an empowerment coach of maybe they're saying, I don't know.
Whatever this thing is yet, but I will. What is it you're working to try to
Marquita Myrick: shift. Yeah. I hear it a lot when it comes to, especially with women, like advancement in the workplace, they'll say, you know, I can't go for that promotion yet. And then there's a lot of work to uncover, well, what is it? Because there's some fear here.
Of course, like you're going to be required to do more [00:06:00] once you get that promotion, but what's telling you, you can't get the promotion. And oftentimes it's, well, I'm not as good as my male counter. Well, my supervisor, it's someone outside of ourselves. My supervisor told me there's some things I need to work on.
I don't have the skills, whereas, you know, a male might go for that promotion, even if he doesn't have all of those skills that are listed on, on the the sheet for this is what these are the requirements for this job. So it really comes down to fear. It comes down to those limiting beliefs about oneself, and they also adapt other people's beliefs about themselves.
Those tend to be the things that I see.
Dr. Fedrick: And do you mean through maybe what's been role modeled for them in childhood or what do you mean by them adopting other beliefs? Like,
Marquita Myrick: yup. It could be childhood. It could be cause I'm, I'm a firm believer that yet. I like to not blame parents for everything.
Right. So you have these experiences in childhood, but you also grow it to be an adult who has to navigate life on your own. And when, when you [00:07:00] do, you tend to have. Experiences that either tell you, yeah, that's right about you or that's not. And so sometimes it's people, literally people have voices like that, that inner child is like, no, we can't do that.
And they get scared or it could be people like your supervisor or maybe your mom and dad, or maybe your friends are still telling you, oh girl, you should not go for that promotion. I'm just going to keep going with that example because I don't think you're ready yet. So we tend to take what other people are telling us and believe that as our truth, when oftentimes it's really.
Dr. Fedrick: Got it. Okay. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I completely agree that I tell my clients about like, yes, your parents may have created the problem, but unfortunately it's yours now to solve. So you can only point the finger for so long now you got to figure out what you're going to do about it. And so, yeah.
Great point. How do you work with your clients? Like what is baseline where you start, when you recognize a fixed mindset, what are maybe some of the first couple things that [00:08:00] you do.
Marquita Myrick: Yeah. So actually I have a worksheet that I give my clients and it has, it gives them an example and it has been list three to five experiences areas where they feel stuck in life areas, where they feel they have some limiting beliefs around.
Sometimes it's like some popular ones are relationships what their capabilities are their success in life. And so I say like, just put a statement down. What is, what is the negative belief you have here? And then in the second column they list, well, where did this come from? Did it come from childhood?
Did it come from a previous supervisor? What about a professor in college? Right? Or maybe even a high school teacher. Sometimes it goes, it goes back to high school too. And then on that next column, I have them ask, ask themselves, like, what's another way to reframe this belief. What's, what's a way I can lean into this in a different way, because maybe it was true at one point.
Maybe you did struggle with that thing, but it doesn't have to mean that you always struggle with it. So always like to get the thoughts out of their head and onto paper. I really liked that. Yeah,
Dr. Fedrick: no, that's a great approach. And then for my clients, when I do something similar and then I often end up using like the [00:09:00] evidence log, right?
The infamous CBD evidence log, where then they start to track these actual pieces of evidence that are contrary to that negative belief. What is that? What is your go-to approach with then working to actively shift?
Marquita Myrick: Yeah, I am a big encourager of daily mindset work. I do it myself. I'm like, whenever you're in, I love CBT.
That's one of the main forms of therapy I practice. But I love saying like, when you catch yourself having these negative thoughts, I don't necessarily do the logs. Sometimes we do got logs, but as soon as you catch it, I need you to reframe it in that moment. Don't let it wait. And sometimes they say, well, Martina, I can't reframe it.
And so I said, well, let's start with acknowledging. Just acknowledge that you're having the thought because sometimes we have to separate ourselves from the thought, yes, I'm having the thought that I'm not eligible for that promotion. And then what is the evidence? So sometimes we have to start with just bring down the thought, acknowledge the thought it needs to be acknowledged, and then you can move to that next step of saying, all right, what are some, what's some evidence that [00:10:00] I could apply for that, that I could prepare myself.
If that's what I feel I need to do to be eligible for that promotion. I love
Dr. Fedrick: that. Can you just briefly explain what a reframe is for our audience? Yeah,
Marquita Myrick: I can understand. Yeah, absolutely. In the simplest form, if you're taking, if you have a negative statement about yourself, what's a way you could make it a positive.
Think I need to uplift myself in this moment. So if it's for me, oftentimes like, oh, I'm not, I'm not being a good parent in this moment. No, I'm having, I'm having a moment. I'm having the thought that I'm not being a good parent. However, I have so much evidence that I'm a great parent and here are the reasons why.
Dr. Fedrick: perfect. I love that. Where can our viewers learn more about you? Where can they find you online on social media?
Marquita Myrick: Absolutely love that question. So I'm on Instagram at Markita Myrick LPC, and then I'm also on Tik TOK now at therapy.
Dr. Fedrick: Are you doing fun dances on Tik TOK for you?
Marquita Myrick: I am working my way up to the dance.
I am doing [00:11:00] funny video, but I'm also pushing to Instagram, just really providing some insight about therapy and I'll be writing some insight about coaching as well, but I'm working my way up to the dances. Cause I think that's some dance moves. I want to show that
Dr. Fedrick: you, I love it. Thank you so much for joining us
Marquita Myrick: today.
Absolutely. Thank you for having me. And thank
Dr. Fedrick: you all for tuning into this episode of calm, cooling, connected. Please make sure to find us on Facebook and Instagram and also make sure to rate and subscribe to our podcast so that others can discover our content as well. Thank you again for joining us on this episode of calm, cooling, connected. .